Every girl, scratch that, most girls, nope, scratch that, some girls; that sounds about right. Some girls dream about marrying a charming prince, a knight in shining armor, who would come sweep them off their feet, treat her to a life of grandeur, luxury and her life made into songs and stories that would be told for years to come.
Now before I go on, I must advise that this article has some Game of Thrones spoilers and as such, any ardent fan who has not seen season 7 or episode 4 of the 7th season, should best steer clear.
And for those who have not seen Game of Thrones, lemme just give you a brief crash course. There lived an honest man named Ned Stark, who had four sons (one was supposedly born out of wedlock) and two daughters Arya and Sansa (since my article would revolve basically around these two, I will just give you an insight into their lives). Sansa all her life had dreamt of marrying a prince and living in castles, so growing up, she has learned to talk and walk the right way and also act the right way. She was the perfect example of a high born child, prim and perfect. Her sister Arya on the other hand was a polar opposite, while Sansa learnt to knit and sew, she was playing in the mud with boys, learning how to catch cats, fight with swords and simply doing all the things that girls would never do. One time her father tried selling the idea of acting like a lady and marrying a prince and living in a castle and her reply was simply “That is not me.”
Sansa soon got her chance at living her dream, when she was promised to wed the supposed son of the king; Robert, who was also her father’s best friend. Lord Ned Stark and his girls would then move South to live with the King and also serve as the king’s right hand man.
Sansa was living her dream, she had servants at her beck and call, hobnobbed with people of authority and royalties from other lands, wore expensive dresses and enjoyed the admiration of the court.
But soon tragedy struck, through a series of unfortunate events, the King Robert died, her father Ned Stark lost his head, literally at the behest of her betrothed Joffery, who then cast her away when he saw a maiden who he desired more than he did the meek Sansa. The pretty, fragile Sansa would soon be forced to marry a dwarf, then again sold to a sick depraved man, who raped her on her wedding night and took what was left of her innocence.
All the while her kid sister Arya in the wake of her father’s beheading took flight and in that period learnt to survive in the mean world. She became a survivor, acquired skills that stood her apart from most and became her own woman. Little Arya became a deadly assassin, hunting down all the people responsible for their family’s misery.
In the 4th episode of seventh season, the Stark children finally make their way home after years of being separated from each other. Only four of them had survived the war against their family and in that time, Jon the bastard son had become leader of the Night’s watch and later King in the North, Bran the second of the true Stark boys had become the three eyed raven, a man who could see into the past and the future, Arya had become a great swords man or woman and a deadly assassin and Sansa? She was still just Sansa, a lot wiser now but still just Sansa. Staring from the balcony of their castle in Winterfell as Arya sparred with the giant Brienne of Tarth, one could see all kinds of emotion play on Sansa’s face but the look of emptiness and jealousy could not be mistaken.
It is sad that in today’s world despite the huge advancement in the empowerment of women, many are still content to just play pretty princesses and “slay queens”, which is not a bad thing but is that all there is to life? Even Kim Kardashian owns a self branded boutique, has endorsement deals and looks pretty for a reason. Beyonce is a award winning singer and so is Rihanna. When you move down to our shore, Rita Dominic, Genevive Nnaji, Omotola Jalade-Ekainde are all pretty women making a name in the world while still turning heads.
Being your own woman ensures that you are in charge of your own destiny and not have your life dependent on the whims of men, who want to treat you as they like, a property they paid for. Yes nothing is certain in the world, but being your own woman means that you are never left in a loop, never get stuck in a bad marriage or relationship because there is nothing else for you to turn to. Because you do not know how to be anything else but wife. Live life on your own terms and at your pace, a life of luxury is good and fine but not if you have to sacrifice your dignity and humanity for it; sad that the true definition of both words are lost on my generation.
And here is a little secret for you, men often treat women as they need because some of them know their partners are solely dependent on them, so they cheat with impunity and sue for peace by buying expensive gifts for their scorned wives. Which I guess is a win-win, if you choose to look at it that way.
The rich also cry, men are scum, at least that is how the mantra goes, so why not weep into a silk handkerchief, than a torn waist wrapper?