Just For Laughs

-You know it’s common place to be in a bus and somebody takes it upon themselves to preach and remind the bus’ occupants that the end time is near and that Jesus Christ needs our soul. Well honestly after two not- so-good experiences with these men of God, I must confess I don’t really look forward to them.

Well the first time, I had decided to travel to the east by night and the bus had been packed and loaded and we were about to move, but as was customary, a man of God climbed on to the bus and asked us to join him in prayer. I was sitting by the aisle.

With my eyes closed, I and the rest of the passengers joined the man of God in prayer. We sang songs, I was really in the mood. Then came the prayer, the man of God prayed against all ‘principalities’, ‘men of the underworld’ and ‘all form of accidents’. To all this I kept shouting ‘Amen’.

The man of God shifted gear and started speaking in tongues, well I didn’t understand a word he said but what choice did I have he was the man of God. My eyes remained closed. The prayer was dragging on and I this time a yawn I had being trying to stifle came to fore, well na there as f**k up. The pastor who was now in the throes of serious prayers and spittle was just flying left and right, next thing I know, my mouth became a home to one of them. Needless to say, my prayers ended there and when it came time for offering, I can’t remember, but I think I stiffed him! Would teach him, for spitting in my open mouth! Ewwwww!!!

 

Experience 2: I had just gotten my admission into the university and at that time I had managed to score myself a 200 level babe. Since I had nothing in school that day, I decided to go to school to ‘program’ my ‘runs’. The bus I board; a mini bus this time, had also a student evangelist and he started with ‘Praise tha Lord’ which was always how they started their ministrations back then. He welcomed all year one students to the school prayed against all forms of evil for us. He went to a lengthy speech about how, Christ died for our sake and how he wants us His children at his side, well I listened, I absorbed, why won’t I na me kill Jesus?

As if waiting for the right time, as the bus went through the gate, omo prayer change sharp! sharp!! He started with ‘Let’s pray against the spirit of fornication’ in my mind I went ‘Ehn?!!!’ See as people dey fire prayer for bus. Only me. As that wasn’t enough, he said ‘Let us also pray against the spirit of boyfriend/girlfriend’ ah!! Hmm!!! In my mind I went; ‘God punish you!’ ‘Driver stop na here be my bus stop!’ See this people wan spoil my paroles!!!!!

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