Khalida Akhtar, a 20-year-old Taliban
suicide bomber, decided at the last minute
not to blow herself up at the main train
station in the capitol of Pakistan because
she remembered that she would have to
deal with a bunch of virgin guys in heaven,
local authorities say.
Ms. Akhtar, who was dressed in a head-
to-toe burqa and strapped with explosives,
was seen just hours ago running and
screaming through the Islamabad Railway
Station before she was apprehended by
local law enforcement.
“The young woman realized that she
would have 72 virgins on her hands if she
sacrificed her earthly life, and apparently
the thought made her so sick to her
stomach that she decided on the spot to
pull the plug on the whole operation and
give herself up to the authorities,” police
officer Malik Rashid told reporters. In a
statement recorded by arresting officers,
Ms. Akhtar explained her decision.
“I’d actually never stopped before to think
about the reward I would receive for my
sacrifice,” Ms. Khalida said. “Unlike my
brother and his friends, I’m actually not a
fan of virgins. To be fair, I don’t think any
woman in the world is. I’m supposed to
give my life for a bunch of guys that don’t
know anything about the female body or
how to please a woman? I don’t think so!”
As she was taken into custody, Khalida
Akhtar also reportedly told officers that she
would have gladly sacrificed herself for
higher causes if she could trade those 72
virgins for two experienced guys, a
masseuse, a butler, and a chef.
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