I read a story on Linda Ikeji’s blog HEREwhere a girl because a man broke her sister’s heart, condemned all men as heartless. I mean after going over the story more than once, I only had her to blame.
What is it with women and marriage? The way women clamor and rush into it makes you wonder, if it is the same union that you hear so many negative things about in the media!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not condemning marriage, no. It is what it signifies for most women that bothers me. I have come to realize that Nigerian women see marriage as an escape from a sometime failed social and economic life, while some see it as some sort of social ladder that must be attained akin to bagging some prestigious degree from the university!
But the truth of the matter is, not everybody is meant for marriage and not everybody will make a good parent.
In the desperate quest to get married many women run blindly into anything remotely resembling a relationship, hoping it ends in marriage. Truth is not every relationship will end in marriage and it is always imperative for partners to know what each want from a relationship.
You can’t be going out with a guy who compliments your ass or boobs and little else and expect him to take you to the alter That’s just setting yourself up for a heartbreak; he just wants sex. So stop playing wife and dreaming of picket fences, while he is out there looking for his wife!
How can you date a guy for 5 years, FIVE YEARS!! And for one he doesn’t offer to introduce you to his family and every night you spread your legs wide for him hoping he will turn around or that you can change him. *hiss***
The heart of man is wicked and by man here I mean men and women, so you might be in a relationship that seems to be heading to the alter but doesn’t, this article is not for you. This article is for those desperadoes out there, bent on getting married at all cost. Relax! Marriage is not something you rush into blind and without caution. No way! You walk into a marriage with both your eyes open and your wits about you.
If you marry a guy for his money, remember when he starts beating you up and cheating on you, that you married his money not him. So console yourself with the big mansions and fancy cars, those were what attracted you to him in the first place, not his character. And for those women out there who think they can change a man, true the only thing constant in life is change, but remember only a person who wants to change will allow he/herself to be affected by it (change).
For the selfish wicked men out there; who are giving all of us a bad name, by preying on vulnerable women. Please endeavour to make your intentions known in a relationship. If it is sex you want make it known. Don’t prey on a woman because you know she is desperate to get married and you go after her with promises of an ever after. Have a heart, you have a sister, even if you don’t, you will have a daughter and you wouldn’t want her to fall victim to such.
And for the desperadoes, please realize that not all women will get married. If statistics is right, and every woman on earth got married, each man would have up to 5/6 wives.
So before you start playing wife in a relationship be sure to know that your partner wants to play husband. Don’t invest all your emotions and time in a relationship that was doomed from the very start.
Look for the signs in your relationship, if you feel he is cheating; this does not apply to the paranoids, then there is a 60% chance he is. Don’t just shove it aside as your mind acting up, follow it up. Don’t ask questions, just look for the classic signs that he is cheating. And please do not settle for less because you are desperate, a time will come when less wouldn’t be enough. Again this does not apply to the women hunting for rich champions.
Make something of yourself, forget how our customs tend to judge a female who is not married after a certain age which is one of the major reason why there are many scarred men and women out there. Make a name for yourself in any field of your choice and see men fall in droves at your side. Then you can have the enviable luxury of choice. Look at Oprah, Linda Ikeji, Genevive, these women could have a pick of any man of their choice.
Being married doesn’t guarantee happiness! Far from it. Haven’t you seen people married with all the riches in the world and still be as miserable as f*ck?!!
Please let’s stop breeding this vicious circle of hatred and vengeance, taking the garbage of one relationship into another! Hurting people who did nothing but love you. All men are not the same and the same goes for all women, so leave the garbage of the past where it belongs and look to the future.
So remember anytime you say all men or women are the same, remember nobody asked you to try so many.