This letter is coming from a good place, so don’t feel bad if I kinda sound harsh or unreal.

I have spoken about this a million times and no matter how much it never seems enough and the fact is I don’t mind harping on it so long as there are people out there who still perpetrate the act.

What am I talking about? Violence; not just violence, but violence against women.
Everyday you look in the news, there is some form of attack on helpless women ranging from rape to outright murder! I mean almost everyday. That means one in every ten women has being subject to one form of violence or another in this country of ours! That’s an alarming statistics.
What is most alarming are the various degrees of these acts which can range from hacking to death, acid attack, rape, mauling and even burying alive. Yes burying alive!! I saw a video of a girl who was raped and buried alive. And yes it happened in Nigeria.

Dear girls why do you let yourself be subject to this type of mess. Believe me no marriage or relationship is worth getting beat up or murdered for. It is not your fault that you got beaten up, I tell you nothing you do is worth being mauled like an animal. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!
I know the church preaches What God has put together let no man put asunder, believe me God is vexing watching you get pummeled every night, in front of your kids no doubt! Remember the same bible said ‘heaven help those who help themselves’, so if every night you keep praying that God should help your man change, also remember to pray for God to give you strength to walk away if he doesn’t change.

If a man loves you, cares for you, respects you there is no way he will raise his hand against you. No way!! If he has any self control, he will man up and settle the situation amicably or just walk out on you, till he cools off. A well trained man would NEVER hit a woman, no way.

I know how the human mind works, when a guy hits you and apologizes. You start to rationalize that if he didn’t love you he wouldn’t apologize, you start to blame yourself for getting him angry! Reality check sister, it starts with a slap. Once he hits you, there is every chance he will hit you again. And if he starts with a slap, he might upgrade to his fist, then his legs and then a weapon and before you know it you are in heaven saying ‘Had I known’ while leaving your kids in the care of a murderer.

There women are who are living in abject fear of men they once loved or love, afraid to do something to irk him. So afraid they tremble at the sight of him, yet they stay with him because they love him, while some women stay because they are afraid what he might do if they leave him. So the best option is continue to play punching bag to a soulless man?

There are NGOs that carter for women who have being subject to domestic abuse, there helplines that you could call for help and they will help you out of your situation. You do not have to suffer alone, you do not have to walk around with bruises hidden underneath your beautiful flowing gown, broken lips hidden by layers of lipstick or swollen eyes hidden behind glasses. You do not have to lie every time a person asks what happened to you. How much can you body and soul take? Reach out for help now.
If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the people who will be left to mourn you; your kids, parents, family, friends.

Word of advice for, I know physically men are stronger (most of them though), so women think that the only weapon they can use against him is their words; they ‘sharpen’ their mouth when they spew insults on a man, just so he will emotionally feel their physical pain. Wrong move, you don’t fight fire with fire. Do not stoke a fire you cannot quench. No matter the situation try to be wise with your words. Words might hurt for a while, but a bullet wound will last a long time.
I know that there are women who love to date bad boys and when I say bad boys, I don’t mean James Bond kinda bad. No!! There are girls/women who would rather date Jack the ripper than St Francis. Well it is your choice, but then again if you must date a bad guy then you must try to be as mean as him or even worse.

And if you are a man and you have ever hit a woman, where is the man in you? You are so insecure, you have to beat a woman to feel masculine. Let me tell you something, you emasculate yourself every time your hands land on a female.
If you want to let off steam, take up a sport, go punch a bag, break a ceramic plate(s), go swimming in ice water, go for a walk or better yet a run. Anything but do not hit that woman.
And shame on you Mister for hitting her in front of your kids, congratulations you are creating future monsters. And don’t blame the devil; that dude takes the blame for everything even the simplest things as having self-control.
Shame on you for beating a woman so hard she can hardly see or walk and you go crying to her for forgiveness. Shame on you Mister!!!

Women, report that sucker to the police, before you go to the priest or pastor, because what they will do (the priest or pastor) is try to fix the marriage or relationship, they are the people who joined together in the first place, you don’t expect them to break you up especially as they are men of God. What if it can’t be fixed? What will happen the next time he hits you, will they counsel you and send you back home to come back with a missing tooth the next time? Send his a** to jail so he will think long and hard about his life. I bet you a month in incarceration in a Nigerian cell will sober him.

If you are a woman and have ever being or is a victim of domestic violence or any form of violence, you can call these numbers for help and counseling: 0800072732255, 08033486101, 08038907500 or you could email: You could also checkout their website: You could also check out:
If you still need convincing read HERE


5 thoughts on “DEAR GIRLS

  1. I will first of all say thank you for dx wonderful piece* Especially, d help line numbers u listed below. God bless u broda* Violence against women MUST stop but women MUST control their mouths. Dats my own advise*

  2. So true my aunt wud always advice ladies who are beaten by Deir husbands to flee nd I tink she is ryt her arguments being :he myt beat u to death nd even if u have children wit him it’s still the best thing to do its only goin to take making up ur mind dough it’s gonna be hard cos it’s beta to be alive Dan dead cos if u die smbody else wud tk ova frm where u stopped nd dey wud sure call her mum while you wud probably be answering questions asked by the devil in hell while leaving if you know ur financially capable you can take the children with you but it’s beta to leave dem with him to have a feel of wat takin care of kids are lyk nd to gv d next woman a second thought bt den secretly visit the children at school d truth is wat the kids wud be dey wud be nd children Neva joke wit Deir mums irrespective of hw Lng they have bin wit Deir dad if they grow up and find out u left cos their dad was goin to beat u to death d won’t forgive Deir dad.

  3. i still wonder why in this present generation, women still stay in abusive relationships and praying for him to change or telling the pastor to pray for him. women need to be taught to report to the police or all this NGO’S before running to the pastor. good one lary

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