Lord Of The Friend Zone

The result of being ZONED!

The result of being ZONED!

Friend zone is a platonic relationship wherein one person WISHES to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. This is according to the Wikipedia, but according to me friend zone is equal to hell.

I like to introduce you to the Lord of the friend zone; me. I have being friend zoned so many times I call it home.
I would love to say that most women find me such a threat, they think being just friends with me is better than trusting me with their hearts. But the truth is I am a master at wrong timing and a clown by nature, so even when I am serious, they think I am joking.

Speaking from my personal experience, being friend zoned stems from either being shy or having a low self esteem. I know at one point I have suffered from either or both.
Either way being friend zoned is something no one should have to experience or maybe just once. It is all well and good being just friends with somebody you’d rather be playing fight with under the sheets. But it is a whole other experience to have that friend play fight with somebody else that is not you and have you play Dr. Phil when he/she wants relationship advice or wants to talk about how great his/her relationship is! Trust me it sucks, big time!

Friend zone unlike MTN zone has no fringe benefits, just untold pain, sadness and untold misery.

Normal relationships usually start like this: strangers>friends>lovers>marriage (not all relationships end in marriage, some are just supposed to end as lovers stage). But the trickiest stage of a relationship is the friendship stage, that is because if you spend too much time there, you will never leave! So the trick is playing it by the cuff.

Now here’s how to know you are about to be zoned.
First of all she/he ‘awws’ you when you compliment them. Like: ‘Linda you look good in that dress.’ And Linda says: ‘Awww.’ Brother you are in the zone.
When she/he likens you to a family member, you are in the zone. ‘You remind me of my brother.’ My guy, you have being zoned! Only a freak wants to have sex with her brother.
When she/he uses terms of endearment like dude, bro, sis, buddy. You’ve being zoned.
When you get him/her something and they call you nice. You’re in the ZONE people.
When he/she tries to hook you up with a friend. You’ve being zoned.

So how do you stop yourself being zoned?
Simple, first put a time limit on the friend stage. Bear in mind the time limit for friend stage differs depending on the personalities of the individuals. I wish I was God so I would just give you a load down, fortunately I am not, so you have to play it by the ear.

From the onset of the relationship, let him or her know what you want; that is that you want it to go beyond friendship. If the other person is skeptical, then you cut your loses early, before you start investing feelings. The truth is, not everything is meant to be.

Research has shown that when a woman laughs at your jokes, there is a high percentage that she is attracted to you. But be careful you don’t make her laugh so hard she cracks the attraction barrier and falls into the friend zone.

Never let a person get too comfortable around you. When a person feels that no matter what you will be there, that’s a sure road to the ZONE. You should be a certain fear of….what’s the word I am looking for, mmm un-pre-dict-ability (that will do nicely) about you. Comfortability will come after you leave the friend zone, believe me.

I am tired of the friend zone, aren’t you? If you are, make a bold step and leave the zone. You are no Ron Weasley; you got no magic and you are not about to get in a life or death situation with the boy or girl. So leave the zone, cos when you enter the zone, you RARELY leave.
But there is hope; a tiny hope, but are you going to hold on to that hope or move on?
That’s up to you.

Never try that.

Never try that.

A HERO amongst us.

A HERO amongst us.

it would seem fine to do things like this, but it is always on the corner to the ZONE.

it would seem fine to do things like this, but it is always on the corner to the ZONE.

Notice the space between them? That is called the ZONE, only a few cross it.

Notice the space between them? That is called the ZONE, only a few cross it.

Never be the shoulder she comes to lean on when she has a heart break! What are you the sound board?

Never be the shoulder she comes to lean on when she has a heart break! What are you the sound board?



4 thoughts on “Lord Of The Friend Zone

  1. Nice piece! I couldn’t agree more. Its something any one can easily relate to; seeing that, you made an impartial delivery of personality on the subject matter. Mad literary skills….so clear, direct and easy to understand. Boy, you have got a talent..Skelo!!!!!!!!!!! Keep moving…keep it up.

  2. Awesome write-up on d ‘friendzone’. Some grammatically-challenged girls that actually want to be more than friends also ‘awww’ compliments though.

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