Abuja

Dear People who do not live in Abuja,

Abuja is not littered with money and connections, so don’t assume I am swimming in them! Forget how well dressed I am, it is simply put “packaging”; packaging is what Abuja is all about. You see that girl over there speaking like she has lived all her life in America? Na lie, she has never been to an airport! You see those nice looking clothes? She bought them under the bridge at Setraco. Look at that handsome dude down yonder in that nice car, guess you would not believe it when I tell you, he uses that same car as a passenger vehicle in the evenings, to raise money for fuel and beer.

I bet you have heard about Maitama, Wuse, Asokoro, Garki but I guess you never heard of Jayi, Pape, Dutse or Kabusa. Remember those huge house you see on TV, well let me tell you that there are more empty houses in Abuja than there are resident’s, you know why? Astronomical house rents!!

Did you know that there are people who live out of their cars?! Like they have all their belongings in the trunk, at night they look for a spot, park and sleep. In the morning they bathe and dress to kill and head out again!

Some roads in Abuja are so bad that 5 minutes on it, a pregnant woman would have a miscarriage but all you see are the multi lane international standard highways, go figure.

My point is that it is always sunny from the outside but it really isn’t like that. The “connections” are looking for connections right now especially as PMB has ascended the throne and blocked all leakages, so expect a lot of downsizing. It is a game of packaging, dressing and acting right might just shoo you into meeting the right people. You might spend ten years in Abuja and never run into a Senator; I did see Charlie Boy once, I also saw a washed up actor too; that is by the way. So whenever you do decide you want to come live in Abuja, remember to invest in how you look and act, because you don’t know who might be watching.

But brother/sister, it is not a bed of roses.

Yours sincerely

Dude tired of being called a big boy because I live in Abuja

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