So earlier today I heard two guys discussing and they were talking about relationships and what would happen when a guy jilts a lady after months or years of dating only to go marry another after a while. These are usually the stories we Nigerians have become accustomed to but what piqued my interest was one of the guys disagreeing with the other who was of the opinion that the wronged woman could lay a curse on her said ex-lover for leaving her high and dry. The other disagreed because according to him, women were as much as guilty as men when it came to jilting lovers to marry another! I kinda agreed with him.
Lemme take you all back; down the memory lane. A couple of years back while I was still in the university, I was in my room when a friend of mine; we’ll call him Jimmy, walked in distraught and forlorn. His first words were “Skelo, Jane wan marry!!”, I was shocked because over time I had become the third wheel in that relationship. I knew how fond they were of each other, knew of their spoken dreams and whispered secrets, so it came as a shock that she was going to marry another guy.
Women are as worse as men in relationships, never let anyone tell you differently. But because she has become so adept at playing the good guy, when relationships up end, it is ALWAYS the man who becomes the fall guy. Literally.
Lemme give you an example, say a guy has dated a girl for about four years and one day decides to marry another for whatever reason, the world would call him cynical, heartless and a time waster. But if a woman walks out of long term relationship, she is hailed as a hero, encouraged for sticking up for herself and walking out of a relationship that was going nowhere!
And the funny part is the world often agrees with her as somehow the woman would make her breaking up with you, your decision. How?
It usually starts like this: “Dear, one guy wants to marry me oh! My parents have accepted him and are putting pressure on me to settle down. You know how much I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, so what do I do?”
LOL, you see how she has flipped the script?! Now the guy will have to weigh his options and more often than not decides he ain’t ready to settle down yet and gives the girl his “blessings” and the girl walks away a hero, despite the fact that with or without your said blessing, he would have married the guy regardless.
The only difference between a man and a woman in this regard is that man is often tactless in his approach, often taking the the “tough love” approach, even this is not synonymous with men, women often do it too. Heard a story long ago of a girl who had her first class boyfriend write her carry-over exams while she went home to visit her “sick” mother, only for the hapless chap to be caught and rusticated and for news to emanate that there was no sick mother, the girl had gone for her traditional wedding.
I am not attacking the opposite sex and I am not saying men are innocent, I am just trying to question why women are never the bad guys when relationships go kaput! Many male hearts have been broken by women, but the world only seats up and listens when it is men who do the heart breaking.