Why Do Successful Women Scare Some Men?


Malala Yousafzai, the Chibok girls these are a just a few of a million women who against all odds seek education. Since the turn of the century, women have been pushed to the forefront of almost everything, even homes, they have becomes masters of industries, leading ladies commanding just as much money as her male counterparts and world leaders, inventors.

There are more women in schools today than there was twenty years ago, there are more female CEOs today than there were twenty years ago, feminism has become rife and the importance of educating the girl child and giving her same opportunities in life as her opposite has never being more pronounced as it is today.

Yet despite these seeming giant strides these women have made, why are the same men who have egged them on, cheered their successes, praised their works scared of them, scared to make them girlfriends or wives? I mean it is so appalling to see men suggest that a woman who drives a car probably got it from “spreading her legs”.

This is a touchy subject for me, I had a long debate about this on Facebook and in the end, I was termed a feminist. Funny thing is, I would fight for women at every corner, when they are denied equal rights as men, that does not make me feminist, it just makes me human. In fact truth be told, some aspects of “feminism” irks me but I would not go into that now.

So why are some men (I want to say MOST but that would seem inappropriate; even though that is what I think.) wary of a successful woman? Anytime you ask that the insecure ones would always say “career women do not make good wives or mothers”, “they emasculate a man, feed on his ego” these are the two most popular answers when the aforementioned question is asked.

But in truth, the real reason, I believe men are scared of successful women, is that men have had it all their way since time immemorial but the rise of women into position of power threatens his masculinity. No longer will the woman depend on him for everything, no longer will the woman be submissive to him, without him earning her respect. Women just up and changed the game and man did not get the memo. Men want a woman successful but not too successful as to rub shoulders with him but successful enough to take care off her primary needs. They want her independent but not too independent as to not have use for him. That is just my take, not an established fact.

Now I believe a woman can be successful without being career driven or oriented, that is the mistake most men make. A career woman could be lawyer at a top firm focused on reaching the highest pinnacle of her career, a successful woman could be a blogger with a billion followers. Big difference.

I tell people who would listen, that even Oprah would submit to a man who earns her respect and relinquish her body and soul to him because she respects him and trusts him. You cannot earn a woman’s respect by acting a fool, cheating and being inconsiderate. No way Jose!!!

Another reason which they would give is that, when the relationship goes belly up, the  woman will know about all the things she did for you. Says the man who lives off the praise he gets for “spoiling his woman”, who goes on a rant when she leaves him for another but hey, it is a man’s world and the woman dare not act out of script, after all it has been centuries in the making.

Not saying successful women are perfect, as with all things there good ones and the not so good ones, there the humble ones and those that have let their wealth get to their head but look closely at the male folk, same applies.

The problem of the world is that it is always too caught up in the 75% of bad news and completely ignore the remaining 25% that should breed hope. There are successful women who have made a success of their career and homes, case in point, Beyonce. No one will accuse her of being a bad mom/wife and not spending enough time with her family. Joy Mangano, Folorunsho Alakija, Dora Akunyili, Ngozi Okonjo-Iwela all successful women and great mothers. Yes they are a few in a million but they are the few that matter.

The fears are unfounded, that much I know, would I want a housewife or a working woman? I would go for the latter 10 times out of 10 for reasons dear to my heart, the secret is sacrifice on both fronts. Living with a successful woman might not be perfect but there people who have made it work, so why not you?

Men need to stop thinking of women as property, especially in this here parts, she has chosen to change her last name, disfigure her body to bear you kids and you can not let her flex her financial muscle because somehow that threatens your manhood! Only a real man can handle a strong, independent woman and that is a fact.

click to see Forbes’ list of 20 powerful moms


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